I Won't Let Go

Went through quite an emotional night yesterday, on my own nonetheless. It's almost like an uphill battle nowadays, tryin to get my messages across without comin off as being aggressive or even selfish. Fightin head-on won't work, of course I know that well, tried and failed numerous times. Even rationale arguments lost and I wonder if they ever won.

I retreated, went back into my cave like I usually do, alone with my thoughts, iPod on shuffle. Can usually seek solace through songs or rather lyrics that seem to be talkin to me at that point of time. This song then appeared out of nowhere. I have the habit of copyin songs from others so I would not have to stick to my own playlist all the time. Occasionally I will find some good songs (most importantly, lyrics), like the one that has given me some much needed comfort last night.

Thank you Rascal Flatts for helpin me get through the night. Much appreciated. I m a stronger person, once again.

It's like a storm

That cuts a path

It breaks your will

It feels like that

You think you're lost

But you're not lost on your own

you're not alone

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

If you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

It hurts my heart

To see you cry

I know it's dark

This part of life

Oh it finds us all

And we're too small

To stop the rain

Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall

I'm right here to catch you

I won't let you down

It won't get you down

you're gonna make it

Yeah I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

And you can't cope

And I will dry your eyes

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

And I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you

And I won't let go

Won't let you go

No I won't

x

How The Name Jayden and Bii Came About

So 자기야 has officially adopted the name Jayden and even changed it on Facebook. Friends and buddies who have known him for centuries were quite surprised and kept on makin fun of him with comments like, "Who is Jayden?" "Hi, Mr. Jayden" etc hahaha.

Well the name Jayden was suggested by me coz the names that 자기야 came out with sucks hahaha. Truth to be told, I had always wanted to name my son Jayden. Err since three or four years ago. Kiasu max haha. So I told 자기야 how he had stolen his own son's name lol. Or rather how gracious of me to gift him my son's name lolol.

And no, it wasn't because of the Hong Kong TVB drama 'Triumph In The Skies II' in which Julian Cheung Chi Lam's character's name was Jayden Koo like how everyone 자기야 knows has assumed. Chi Lam is much more cuter kay. Hahaha. I have loved him since I watched my first drama of him at the age of 10! Louis Koo acted in the show too, before he was charcoalfied and he had long hair back then. I still remembered how the girlfriends and I used to debate in the school canteen over who is more handsome haha. Those were the days.

Now that 자기야 has unabashedly stolen my son's name, I've come to love the name Julian hahaha. I actually googled for 'Unique Baby Boys Name' wtf. And again, no, not because of Chi Lam even though I do hope that he will grow up as cute as him. That dimples *drool*

Before I got together with 자기야, i.e when we were at the ambiguous stage, we tried callin each other typical endearments such as dear and sweetie. I've always loved my other half to call me baby but somehow 자기야 did not :/ He did call me BB though but I don't like the look of it haha. Then I decided to come up with one that sounds the same but looks nicer lol. And that's how Bii came about. After using it for some time, 자기야 told me that there's a Korean singer with the same name. I m totally not a K-pop fan but the nickname has since stuck with us.

자기야 recently started callin me cutie pie and I called him naughty boy coz sometimes he really annoys me to the max haha.

Love my naughty boy!

Till then, x!

Another Year of Blessings

Ahem one year older, again! Not someone who resents gettin older but still.. it freaks me out that the BIG 3-0 is nearin! Nevertheless, after reelin in from shocks and disbeliefs of tragedy happenin after tragedy lately, I m honestly, truly glad just to be alive. And I really thank the Good Lord for His blessings.

Due to the fact that 자기야's birthday was very low profile this year, reason being I was seriously a shitty girlfriend, didn't manage to get anythin planned except for a simple surprise by his buddies and I didn't even buy him any birthday gift! Someone kill me please :'(, so I made him promise that he is not to do anythin for my birthday this year as well. Until I get to make it up to him, that is.

But knowin him, he will definitely come up with somethin, however littlest it seems and and knowin me who will somehow get disappointed if he didn't wtf. Contradictin I know but I can live with that haha. However though, my birthday week was not off to a good start. First, I fell on the road last weekend and was gifted with some "pretty" scars on my right knee. Then my period came one day before my birthday. And it didn't help that my raging hormones were cryin for a release and decided that it was the perfect time for a good fight with 자기야. So I was bawling my eyes out when the clock stroked twelve while my dear boyfriend was soundly asleep. Thinkin back now, it was just too stupid! The fight nonetheless. Haha.

Anyway, the next day I received the roses delivery 자기야 was secretly plannin all along! Actually, I kinda guessed it wtf lol. Coz before this, I saw Chloe's instagram pic posing with flowers and secretly openly envied her coz her boy specially arranged flowers delivery for her. And I quietly loudly hinted complained to 자기야 on why he never does it for me hahaha. But when I questioned him after I've gotten the roses, he said he remembered nothin of the sort. God really bless him with a goldfish memory :/

My beautiful roses!

And I've forgotten to mention that 자기야 had his company dinner on my birthday, when else, sigh. Talk bout negative law of attraction! So I didn't get to wait for him to cut my birthday cake. We only had a simple dinner the day before at this AnMour Cafe Concept, prior to the fight hehe. Nicholas brought me to the Sutera branch twice and Jessica told me there is one branch in Mount Austin (nearer to my house) as well. 자기야 and I then went exploring and found it. Food was not spectacular, but overall it was okay and reasonable.

My grilled chicken chop with wedges and mashed potatoes as side dishes

자기야's salmon with mashed potatoes and pasta as side dishes

The flower delivery guy was such a weirdo! He had to ask me twice if I m Elaine Chai. Do I not look like some guy will send me flowers?! Granted, I was not dressed to the nines but still.. wtf. 자기야 also made me a lovely card and the guy was nice enough to put it inside a Hello Kitty plastic bag. I asked 자기야 if he was the one who gave the guy the plastic bag and he said no. Okay now I take back my complaint bout him hahaha.

I can has love voucher!

Told 자기야 that he had basically stolen all my ideas; the 3D pop cut-out and the love voucher. This just proves that I m just lazier and 자기야 was one step ahead of me. So what do one do with such a huge bouquet of pink roses? Selfies of course, duh! Hahaha. It took me such great effort just to fit my face and the whole bouquet into one frame. So must show off lol.

Ending the post with the roses <3

Till then x!

Dear Lord, I wish that happiness will always be upon me. Amen.

행복첫째주년내사랑!

I hope the above title is correct for I directly translated it with Google Translate :P Just for the fun of it since 자기야 always believed he is Korean with identity crisis lol.

Honestly I never thought we will make it until today. If it wasn't for your sincerity and the much needed laughter you brought into my life, this first anniversary would never have happened.

Thank you Bii (FYI, we never wanted to copy the Korean singer, really! We didn't even know he existed, FHL, before we created this name for each other) for everythin you have done for me the past 365 days.

Here are a few things that I want you to know that I am truly appreciative of your efforts as they have made and are still making me the luckiest girl on earth, just by being with you ♥

Thank you for always making me laugh regardless of how bad the situation is or how pissed off I am during arguments.

Thank you for loving me still despite my constant PMS, ramblings, nagging, complaining, bitching, gossiping etc

Thank you for tolerating me all the time when I am always tryin to lecture you on the way of life just because I m the older one.

Thank you for willingly take all kinds of selfie with me all the time so long I want to. 

Thank you for buying me a stalk of rose on our every monthsary (you do skip but I love you too much to keep scores haha)

In spite of it all, our love has only grown stronger and I believe the future is bright enough for us to take our baby steps towards it together, hand in hand :)

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY

Till then, x!

Instant Mood Lifters

Sometimes all I need me is some HAPPY. What do you do when your mood is down and you know you need to get it up again ASAP? My emotions has been on a rollercoaster ride lately, not sure why but naturally I blame it on PMS. Mostly lol. That is like the best excuse for me when I have my mood swings in front of 자기야. Kesian him I know.

So before I throw my princessey tantrums at just about anybody, I will try with all my might to calm my inner storm down first. I will try with upbeat, positive songs. And if that fails, I guess my next best alternative is probably some alot of chocolates? Hehe.

Just wanna share some songs which can lift up my mood almost instantaneously and I hope they will do wonders to yours too, if you ever need it of course. Enjoy :)


Pharrell Williams- Happy (My latest addiction!)

BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head (Oldies like this does the trick for me)

Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You (more oldies hehe)

Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy (this is perfect, trust me)

Nat King Cole - L-O-V-E

Anthony Neely - Wake Up (a mixture of English and Chinese lyrics, great lyrics)

Last but not least, a new lift-me-up song I have just heard over the radio today. Love it. Gonna make this my new addiction soon haha.

Peter Marsh - Stop The Clock

Go be HAPPY!

Till then, x!

Twelve Cupcakes And A Double Movie Date

Been quite some time since I have been on a real date with 자기야, probably because we are basically dating everyday considering the fact that we work together. And while it may seem a good thing to be able to see your boyfriend everyday, better than boyfriends whose whereabouts are often unknown (yes, I have dated someone like that), it does have its downside also.

We got lazy :( Lazy to plan for date nights. Lazy to be oh-so-romantic. It has even become hard for us to decide on what to eat. Sigh. What's worse, dates have become rather expensive these days. Even a simple breakfast of eggs and toast can cost up to MYR20 :(

But luck got on my side one night when out of boringness, I stumbled upon the Maxis Rewards app again in my phone. Why again? Coz I had it in my phone for a while now ever since Maxis sent an email notifying me about this app. And I had used it to redeem two Buy One Free One TGV Cinemas movie tickets before this.

Well.. even though Maxis' data connection sucks once in awhile and I have made several complaints through Twitter, undeniably the deals in this app has really helped me in saving quite a bit. And through the night, I have downloaded quite a few passes. But of course I wouldn't missed out the TGV movie tickets deal again since its promo end date is 31st March. Hehe.

Two movies, two persons for the price of MYR20 only. On weekends somemore. Never mind that we were unable to snuggle on a couple seat like we usually do :P Normally a standard seat ticket alone will cost MYR16 each. So we managed to save MYR44 on movie tickets :D

Started off with the movie Need For Speed, which was all about cars, speed and races as deduced from the movie title itself. Movie plot was pretty predictable, hence other than admiring those beautiful and powerful cars, nothing much to shout about for me except that I've learnt of some new models of Ferrari and Lamborghini that are different from the ones I usually see on the street. And I love the white Hummer! 자기야 said it appeared just to be banged. Lol. I m so goin to own one one day. Definitely.

As for 300: Rise Of An Empire, only one word to describe: VIOLENT. But somehow as violent as it was, I seriously believed the movie was too violent until the extent that my fear was nowhere to be found during the whole movie. Nevertheless, I was in awe of the CGI that was considerably flawless and truly admirable. Both movies are some of 자기야's favourite genres hence he should have more valid comments than me. Lol.

And.. I finally got to buy Jamie Teo and Daniel Ong's Twelve Cupcakes! Been following their Twitter regularly, knew that they were expandin to Malaysia but not sure when and where until I first saw it at Sunway Pyramid. Hesitated and ended up not buyin. Saw another branch again at One Utama and didn't buy it too. Until this time, finally bought it with Maxis Rewards deal; Buy Two Free One. So three cupcakes for the price of MYR12 :)

Pretty Much? 

Top: Cookies and Cream; Middle: Red Velvet; Bottom: Chocolate Chocolate

Instagrammed the pic and also tagged Jamie and Dan, was so surprised when Jamie replied. Nice to know that she's friendly :) And the cupcakes are delish! The cakes were so soft and when combined with the topping, the sweetness was just nice. Perfect for me, as I m not someone who fancy really sweet stuff. Some other cupcakes I had tried before this were really sweet.

So in between the movies, we walk walk around, bought the cupcakes and also Juice Works. Maxis Rewards also have this promo for Juice Works: buy any drink of Power size and get a Midi size Lychee Cooler for free. Of course we wouldn't let go of this awesome deal, haha.

And then, we saw this.

Vintage Ear Hook!

Fell in love almost immediately but guess what, I didn't buy. Not upon seeing it. It was only after 300 ended before 자기야 dragged me back to the same shop as it was closing and bought it for me. He said it would be my belated White Day pressie. Aww.. how sweet. Hehe.

Wore it out the next day and I love love it!

And this summed up my weekend date :D Thank you 자기야 for being so patient with me and pamperin me as always. Days automatically become brighter when you are with me.

Love you ♥

From Friend to Stranger

I m currently feelin a lil upset now. I wish I can find out what happened to my friendship with you but I just cannot seem to fathom the gap now, nor can I understand the difference in our relationship right now.

It has since been for four years that we are friends, so why only now we notice the differences? Is it then considered irreconcilable? Is it because of me gettin attached? I still remembered when you said he's not good enough for me. You judged before you even tried to understand. I was so pissed back then but I let it go. Then again, I was in and out of relationships the entire four years we are friends. So that cannot be the reason already right?

So is it then because of your chosen lifestyle? That differ from mine and all traditional views? I m not sure what to think anymore. If it was not because of your hypocrisy, we might still be able to save this. We might still be able to go back to the past. Though not entirely the same but at least, we can still maintain the closeness.

If only you have been honest from the start.

If only.

Nails Nails Nails

Been addicted to DIY manicure for a few months now, especially since nail stickers are readily available, almost everywhere. Being the thrifty (read: cheapskate) person that I m, I got all my nail stickers from pasar malam lol; MYR10 for 3 wtf. Quality is admittedly shitty but I don't mind though coz I don't believe in buyin expensive ones that I will eventually get bored of. Hence I'd rather buy cheaper versions so I can change to different ones anytime I like and also can save money in the process. WIN-WIN for me haha.

First nail sticker that I have applied during Chinese New Year :)

Pastel colours!

The quality of this particular one is the worst among all though I really loved the design ><

Last but not least, my own DIY manicure! Did this without much effort, wanted to actually do the floral one I saw on Pinterest but ultimately failed haha. So I came up with this design! Sorry about the heart, I know that it is very out of shape lol.

Still got two more nail stickers left in my collection. Will post them up after I have applied them kay? And definitely will buy more as I love how easily I can apply them and have pretty nails in no time :D

Till then, x!